Omaha Airport Security Annoys Me

Okay, so I’m sitting in the Omaha airport’s little cafe area near the gates, eating a Krispy Kreme and trying to stop feeling so freaking aggravated.

I travel fairly frequently. I have the same bags that I always travel with and they’re always packed the same. I’ve never had a problem with the security checkpoint thing.

So, here’s what happened… I’m going through security with my laptop bag and my purse. Alls fine until my laptop bag goes through… apparently my bottle of tanning lotion (8 ounces) is too big to get through. Now mind you.. I could have had a plastic baggy with five 2 ounce bottles of various toiletries (total of 10 ounces for the blondes in the audience), but my one 8 ounce bottle of tanning lotion (and those of you who fake bake know that crap ain’t cheap) is verboten. So, after I express my desire to NOT have my expensive tanning lotion thrown out, I’m *escorted by security* back out to the ticketing counter. They make me check my laptop bag with the tanning lotion in it; but graciously let me keep the actual laptop.

So, now I have to go back through security. I put the shoes in a tray with the hand bag. I put the laptop in a tray. Put everything on the conveyor belt. Go through the metal detector. Fine.

Oh no wait.

The same guy who scanned my bags the first time, all of a sudden finds something NEW that’s verboten… this time in my hand bag. (My hand bag that the SAME guy had checked not but 15 minutes before and it was okay…)

Yeah, I was pissed.

Me: “What?? *YOU* checked that 15 minutes ago and it was FINE.”
Him: *shrug* “I guess I missed something.”
Him: “Looks that way.”

My first thought here is: OMG I don’t have anymore bags I can check.
My second thought is: You f’ing MISSED it? Is it not your JOB to find things, like, I don’t know… BOMBS?
My third thought is: What else do you miss, you incompetent jackass?

Airport security doesn’t like it when you raise your voice at them and make mean faces. They get all uptight and tense and then send the supervisor over to order you to calm down and not yell, etc. Whatever. I just want my stupid bag back, and I want to go to the gate, and I want to go HOME.

So what do I need to do to get what I want? Clearly, getting mad and “assertive” wasn’t going to get me anywhere, so I resorted to Plan B. Tears.

Bitchy women can be ignored. Crying girls get what they want 🙂

SUre enough, as soon as the first little sniffle started, accompanied by “seriously, I just want to go hoooome.” All of a sudden, it was “You know what, it’ll be okay. Just take your bag. Have a nice trip.”


Okay. Whining done. I should get back to my gate and wait for my (delayed) flight and perhaps resist the urge to have another KK.