Emergency Valentine’s Day Card Help

I realize this is late notice, and if it’s already too late for you, file this away for future reference because it’s really a neat trick for people who really hate to give those incredibly smarmy “omg this is so obnoxiously sweet I feel as though I need an insulin shot just for reading it” greeting cards.

  1. Pick out a smarmy card containing language that most closely represents your sentiment.
  2. Pick out a funny, snarky, “hip”, or fun card that more accurately conveys your style or the style of the receiver.
  3. Buy them both.
  4. Instead of just writing your name on the inside of the card (which is lame), copy the verse from the sappy “donor” card INTO the fun “real” card.
  5. Sign your name and give to the intended recipient.

Granted, this little trick tends to be more helpful to guys than girls because, let’s face it, ladies have less of problem penning their gushy, mushy, lovey-dovey sentiments than your average guy does. That being said, I’ve found it’s helpful for many non-romantic situations like sympathy cards, baptism cards, new baby cards, etc.

This is not me subborning plagarism. This is me saying spring for 2 cards and look like you’ve gotten in touch with your inner bard without looking like you’re a sap who buys smarmy greeting cards that sound like your grandmother picked them out for you.